I have the great honor of being a spiritual coach and mentor to several young men preparing to enter Christian ministry. We meet on a pretty regular basis over coffee, breakfast or lunch. During those times together, I always try to ask 5 specific questions.
1. How is your romantic relationship going your girlfriend, fiancée or spouse? If they involved with a young lady, I want to check on how things are progressing. I want to ask them about the physical aspect of their relationship and what purity standards they are holding to.
2. How is your studies/work going? Are the struggling in classes or are they truly getting everything out of their educational experience? I try to encourage them in being faithful and excellent in everything they do now which will impact future ministry in the years to come.
3. How are you relating to other friends and social groups? If they are on a sports team, I want to know how are interacting with their teammates? Are they in a healthy friendships or are they more of a loner? Ministry is all about relationships and if they can’t handle them here on the college campus, they won’t be able to handle them later on.
4. How are things going in your private life? Are they viewing anything inappropriate online? Are they filling their hearts and minds with the things of God or the things of this world? Tough question, but essential for accountability.
5. How are things going with you and God? As a spiritual coach, I have to ask about their relationship with Christ? Are they going to church? Are they feeding on the Word? How are they being shaped and modeled by God at this time in their lives. This question is probably the easiest to ask, but the hardest to answer truthfully.
Finally as a spiritual coach (or mentor), I try to open up to what’s going on in my life. What am I dealing with or contemplating right now? I don’t want our spiritual coaching relationship to be all one-sided. I want them to see me and my heart, not just hear my mini-sermons about what they need to be doing. It is a give and take.