A Local Phenomenon

A Local Phenomenon.  Written by Haley Dallas. Educational Ministries student.

Photo: The Ring By Spring movie. Hallmark channel.

Photo: The Ring By Spring movie. Hallmark channel.

The local “ring by spring” phenomenon is all but new to the students of Campbellsville University. This idea of getting engaged and settling down quickly seems to spread like wildfire when you step foot on this Christian campus.

But how local is this “local phenomenon” and why do we seem to obsess over its importance?  When a students makes the transition from high school to college they are faced with numerous new changes. These students have a new emotional and physical independence because of the distance they now have between them and the people that have taken care of them for years. Even kids that stay at home for college experience a new sense of taking control of their future. The parental unit these students have had holding their hands and walking them through this life thus far are now backing away and loosening their grips. This new independence leaves the college age student asking themselves “What is my next step.”

Many students at state colleges begin to find their identities in the major they have chosen or the sport they play or the organization they have pledged the next four years to. At a Christian university, students are thrown into an environment conducive to finding your identity in God and his love for us. This environment teaches a sense of community and love for each other that is not found widely at the larger state schools.

The Christian life is a huge advocate for “partners” and “teams.” We are taught about accountability partners and Adam and Eve and even the importance of the relationship between a husband and wife. For a Christian, the verse in Corinthians is a well known and used part of scripture. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends,” 1st Corinthians 13:4-9.

This verse can be used to make love and marriage seem like a wonderful way to spend your life. Secular and Christian culture both see this verse plastered on shirts, tattoos, websites, and Valentine’s Day cards. It is used in Sunday school teachings when portraying how to treat our fellow man and in small groups discussing the way to love your significant other. Bearing in mind the importance of this one verse on our secular and churched culture, you can only imagine how our Christian brothers and sisters are impacted by the plethora of verses just like this one modeling the importance and the greatness of love.

If I were to try and pinpoint one reason why the seeming obsession with early engagement is so prevalent at my little Christian college, and at all Christian colleges like it I would be at a loss. There are so many important factors that contribute to our love for love. The insane whirlwind of emotions and stressors and godly people mixed with the environment that is teaching us to work together and love one another and love our God seems to be the perfect recipe for a great relationship. We are taught to base our marriages and relationships on God and I don’t think there is a better place to start a godly unity than on a Christian campus, studying what you love, learning about God, and growing together.

I don’t think there is any sort of extra “rush” to get married on a Christian campus. I do believe firmly that a Christian campus is unwillingly creating the perfect environment for two God loving people to fall for each other and desire to start their lives together as soon as they can.

Advertisements

Racing to a Ring

Photo: The Ring By Spring movie. Hallmark channel.

Photo: The Ring By Spring movie. Hallmark channel.

Collegiate Christians’ Race for the Ring.  Written by Meg Brown.  Junior Educational Ministries & Public Relations student.

Buzzing silently amongst the daily lives of Christian college students in America is an unspoken, but well-understood topic. Guys and gals alike stir in their stands on the topic of: marriage. What? I can hear the laughter you’re trying to suppress right now, and trust me, you’ve read that correctly. The hot topic on the minds of college-aged Christians right now, and just about this time every year, seems to be the “Ring by Spring” phenomena.

While most college students are concerned with the upcoming football game or next Thursday’s party, there’s a small group who are in pursuit of something different. While by the end of their college years, most students look to find a job and begin a hopefully successful transition into adulthood, there is a growing trend among Christians in this age group who are seeking to accelerate this process by means of marriage. My question is, “Christians, why the hurry?”

The differences between Christian and state colleges are a large, wide-spread variety, but this one topic drives the divide deep, as it’s not a housing rule or application requirement we’re talking about, but a mindset. Why is the rush to engagement on Christian college campuses and not on the grounds of secular state schools? Here are a few potential factors I’ve found:

Prolonged Adolescence.  In today’s society, irresponsible adolescence is stretching farther than ever before. This shift in lifestyle has not yet displayed its full effects, but the current college-age generation will differ from the ones before it more drastically than ever before because of it. While the idea of sleeping in your parents’ basement for free aids in the process of paying off debt, this has a negative impact on our college-aged grads.

With this knowledge in mind, Christians seem to be on the hunt for something different. The reasoning behind this is still a little fuzzy; whether it be to follow, biblically, the ideals of family and marriage, or to simply avoid the unnecessarily long courtship, Christian college students are “Putting a Ring on It” faster than Beyoncé can utter the lyric.

Hook Up Culture.   If there was/is a “biblical” way of dating, the principles to which the average college relationship is guided by bears little to no resemblance to that “way.” Instead, thanks to apps like Tinder, social media such as Twitter or Facebook, and the immediate response mindset received from text messaging, college-aged relationships more closely fall to the “Hook Up” description.

Whatever you want to call them, these relationships blatantly display my generation’s lack of self-control, need for immediate gratification, and sure lack of commitment, all of which stand in stark contrast of what Christians are called to in the Way of Christ. Therefore, Christian college students choose to swim against the current and just do relationships differently.

Slim Pickin’s.  This is where I feel the weight of this pressure that Christian college students feel may lay. Though the “hook up” culture is prevalent, and prolonged adolescence is also unattractive, many college-aged Christians have the sense that there’s just no one else out there. The idea of going on to the next stage of life and ministry as a “single” is too terrifying for many to digest. We all want love and, while young and single and surrounded by such a pool of young and single Christians, surely you could find someone do life with, right?

The Christian community sometimes places added emphasis on married couples, leaving the college-aged group in fear of being sent to a “Singles Retreat” or even a separate Sunday class based on their relationship status. Apart from this divide we see on college campuses, there is a divide in churches today on this issue. Even the language we use is evident of this truth. Check out this blog http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/single-satisfied-and-sent-mission-for-the-not-yet-married for more on the “not-yet-married” stage of life. This talk places Christians in a posture of solitary separation or scrambled searching if you find yourself in the “not-yet-married” category.

Our subculture has been conditioned to believe that marriage is a goal, thus losing the greater vision of God’s will on our lives. I am not one to say marriage is bad, or that it is not worth seeking and striving towards, but that is only if marriage is what God has called us to in life. Please, brothers and sisters, let us not be bought into the haste and pressure that this “Ring by Spring” mentality has brought us.

The Ring by Spring Phenomenon

Photo: The Ring By Spring movie. Hallmark channel.

Photo: The Ring By Spring movie. Hallmark channel.

Are Christian college students who attend college on the Christian college campus more likely to get married immediately after or soon after graduating than those attending state colleges?  Do Christian college students on the Christian college campus feel pressured to rush into marriage faster than their secular, state school peers?  Is there some reason they feel they must find their mate before leaving the Christian college environment or face difficulties afterwards?

Some call this the “Ring by Spring” phenomenon or “getting your MRS. degree.”  It is the norm on many Christian college campuses and I want to discover why.

So over the next several days, several of my Christian college students who attend a small, rural Christian college here in the middle of the Bible Belt are going to weigh in on the “Ring by Spring” phenomenon.  Their thoughts and ideas will be unedited and raw.

I want to learn from them.  I want you to learn from them.  I think you are going to find their analysis on this phenomenon fascinating.  Stay tuned.