A Local Phenomenon

A Local Phenomenon.  Written by Haley Dallas. Educational Ministries student.

Photo: The Ring By Spring movie. Hallmark channel.

Photo: The Ring By Spring movie. Hallmark channel.

The local “ring by spring” phenomenon is all but new to the students of Campbellsville University. This idea of getting engaged and settling down quickly seems to spread like wildfire when you step foot on this Christian campus.

But how local is this “local phenomenon” and why do we seem to obsess over its importance?  When a students makes the transition from high school to college they are faced with numerous new changes. These students have a new emotional and physical independence because of the distance they now have between them and the people that have taken care of them for years. Even kids that stay at home for college experience a new sense of taking control of their future. The parental unit these students have had holding their hands and walking them through this life thus far are now backing away and loosening their grips. This new independence leaves the college age student asking themselves “What is my next step.”

Many students at state colleges begin to find their identities in the major they have chosen or the sport they play or the organization they have pledged the next four years to. At a Christian university, students are thrown into an environment conducive to finding your identity in God and his love for us. This environment teaches a sense of community and love for each other that is not found widely at the larger state schools.

The Christian life is a huge advocate for “partners” and “teams.” We are taught about accountability partners and Adam and Eve and even the importance of the relationship between a husband and wife. For a Christian, the verse in Corinthians is a well known and used part of scripture. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends,” 1st Corinthians 13:4-9.

This verse can be used to make love and marriage seem like a wonderful way to spend your life. Secular and Christian culture both see this verse plastered on shirts, tattoos, websites, and Valentine’s Day cards. It is used in Sunday school teachings when portraying how to treat our fellow man and in small groups discussing the way to love your significant other. Bearing in mind the importance of this one verse on our secular and churched culture, you can only imagine how our Christian brothers and sisters are impacted by the plethora of verses just like this one modeling the importance and the greatness of love.

If I were to try and pinpoint one reason why the seeming obsession with early engagement is so prevalent at my little Christian college, and at all Christian colleges like it I would be at a loss. There are so many important factors that contribute to our love for love. The insane whirlwind of emotions and stressors and godly people mixed with the environment that is teaching us to work together and love one another and love our God seems to be the perfect recipe for a great relationship. We are taught to base our marriages and relationships on God and I don’t think there is a better place to start a godly unity than on a Christian campus, studying what you love, learning about God, and growing together.

I don’t think there is any sort of extra “rush” to get married on a Christian campus. I do believe firmly that a Christian campus is unwillingly creating the perfect environment for two God loving people to fall for each other and desire to start their lives together as soon as they can.

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Do I Have to Get the Ring by Spring?

Photo: The Ring By Spring movie. Hallmark channel.

Photo: The Ring By Spring movie. Hallmark channel.

Do I Have to Get the Ring by Spring?  Written by Joey Bomia. Senior Educational Ministries student.

Why are Christian college students more likely to get married after they graduate or soon after graduation? Is it possible that ones who are receiving their education from the Christian university rather than the state university feel pressured into marriage? I’ve noticed many of my peers and college friends have their weddings soon after graduation, so what is it that makes this “ring by spring” phenomenon seem so prevalent on Christian universities?

First off, it is not that they are forced into the marriage relationship. However, they desire to have that commitment one day and will there ever be a better time than when there are thousands of Christian singles all around you? Probably not. I’ve noticed a couple of pressures that may rush students into this big decision. Here are a few reasons why they want to have that relationship and to have it post-graduation.

1   The sexual pressure is a real deal. Sexual relations and encounters are the biggest temptation of sin that the young man and woman face. College is where the “hook-ups”, “one night stands”, and “friends with benefits” all run rampant across campuses everywhere. It’s the time where freedom from parents and restrictions create doors that the Christian student shouldn’t be opening.  Many will and have rushed into their wedding ceremony because they want to have sex with each other. That sounds blunt, but it’s the truth. Purity is important to some students. They will rush into this commitment to save it.

2.  Christian students see more importance and value on marriage. The reality of spending the rest of your life with someone may seem scary for some, but I think it is very appealing to the young college student especially to the Christian one. Christian students have grown up seeing biblical examples of marriage everywhere. When they picture the future, they see a family. It’s almost seen as non-biblical to the Christian single if they don’t pursue the marriage relationship.  “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh” Genesis 2:24

3. There is a degree of “I’ve gotta fix this.”  All of us know the devastating statistic that 1 in 2 marriages will end in a divorce. Our society has lost the respect and commitment to the marriage relationship. I think the Christian college student desires to have a healthy, Christ-centered marriage that will last “until death do us part.” Many students in this generation have come from broken homes and split marriages; they want to see a better future for themselves.

4.  Fear of forever singleness. The thought of being alone and single forever scares people. There may not be a more opportune time to tie the protection and stability knot. There is that chance of not finding anyone that you want to spend the rest of your life with and I think many are dreading that thought on campuses everywhere. Why is the marriage commitment so surreal on the Christian campus?  It’s all about how students picture marriage. Christian students view marriage as an example of the Gospel and the relationship between Jesus and His bride. Non-Christian students view marriage as a restriction. They would rather receive the full benefits of cohabitation rather than being in full commitment to one person.

5.  Ministry and the church make the single feel uncomfortable. The single will be consumed by a congregation full of couples. Some churches won’t hire ministers if they aren’t married. Members of the church will begin to try hooking-up the young single with people. There are many classes in the church for couples, family, etc., but a lack of outreach to the young single. Single ministers lack the support that a spouse will give. All of these are more reason for the young single college student to get married.

This is a commitment that should be taken with much diligence, prayer, and discernment from Almighty God. One that many take lightly and should be taken with much carefulness. I pray for the young college student who decides to get married and that marriage would be God honoring to those all around.

Racing to a Ring

Photo: The Ring By Spring movie. Hallmark channel.

Photo: The Ring By Spring movie. Hallmark channel.

Collegiate Christians’ Race for the Ring.  Written by Meg Brown.  Junior Educational Ministries & Public Relations student.

Buzzing silently amongst the daily lives of Christian college students in America is an unspoken, but well-understood topic. Guys and gals alike stir in their stands on the topic of: marriage. What? I can hear the laughter you’re trying to suppress right now, and trust me, you’ve read that correctly. The hot topic on the minds of college-aged Christians right now, and just about this time every year, seems to be the “Ring by Spring” phenomena.

While most college students are concerned with the upcoming football game or next Thursday’s party, there’s a small group who are in pursuit of something different. While by the end of their college years, most students look to find a job and begin a hopefully successful transition into adulthood, there is a growing trend among Christians in this age group who are seeking to accelerate this process by means of marriage. My question is, “Christians, why the hurry?”

The differences between Christian and state colleges are a large, wide-spread variety, but this one topic drives the divide deep, as it’s not a housing rule or application requirement we’re talking about, but a mindset. Why is the rush to engagement on Christian college campuses and not on the grounds of secular state schools? Here are a few potential factors I’ve found:

Prolonged Adolescence.  In today’s society, irresponsible adolescence is stretching farther than ever before. This shift in lifestyle has not yet displayed its full effects, but the current college-age generation will differ from the ones before it more drastically than ever before because of it. While the idea of sleeping in your parents’ basement for free aids in the process of paying off debt, this has a negative impact on our college-aged grads.

With this knowledge in mind, Christians seem to be on the hunt for something different. The reasoning behind this is still a little fuzzy; whether it be to follow, biblically, the ideals of family and marriage, or to simply avoid the unnecessarily long courtship, Christian college students are “Putting a Ring on It” faster than Beyoncé can utter the lyric.

Hook Up Culture.   If there was/is a “biblical” way of dating, the principles to which the average college relationship is guided by bears little to no resemblance to that “way.” Instead, thanks to apps like Tinder, social media such as Twitter or Facebook, and the immediate response mindset received from text messaging, college-aged relationships more closely fall to the “Hook Up” description.

Whatever you want to call them, these relationships blatantly display my generation’s lack of self-control, need for immediate gratification, and sure lack of commitment, all of which stand in stark contrast of what Christians are called to in the Way of Christ. Therefore, Christian college students choose to swim against the current and just do relationships differently.

Slim Pickin’s.  This is where I feel the weight of this pressure that Christian college students feel may lay. Though the “hook up” culture is prevalent, and prolonged adolescence is also unattractive, many college-aged Christians have the sense that there’s just no one else out there. The idea of going on to the next stage of life and ministry as a “single” is too terrifying for many to digest. We all want love and, while young and single and surrounded by such a pool of young and single Christians, surely you could find someone do life with, right?

The Christian community sometimes places added emphasis on married couples, leaving the college-aged group in fear of being sent to a “Singles Retreat” or even a separate Sunday class based on their relationship status. Apart from this divide we see on college campuses, there is a divide in churches today on this issue. Even the language we use is evident of this truth. Check out this blog http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/single-satisfied-and-sent-mission-for-the-not-yet-married for more on the “not-yet-married” stage of life. This talk places Christians in a posture of solitary separation or scrambled searching if you find yourself in the “not-yet-married” category.

Our subculture has been conditioned to believe that marriage is a goal, thus losing the greater vision of God’s will on our lives. I am not one to say marriage is bad, or that it is not worth seeking and striving towards, but that is only if marriage is what God has called us to in life. Please, brothers and sisters, let us not be bought into the haste and pressure that this “Ring by Spring” mentality has brought us.